dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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