with your own penis?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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