Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just gift wrapped bread.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I see more hoeing in ur future
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