Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
