my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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