This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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