I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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