i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
