I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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