At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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