just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
