how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I understand Curling. That high.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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