addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
