I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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