Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Michael Bay diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize