I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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