Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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