So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
