Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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