Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
