In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Houston, we have a blender
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need water and some morals
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
