I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize