i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
