Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
