Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
