You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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