I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize