I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
