so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
