Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
