So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
