Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
