Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
