It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
