I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Randomize
