Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
