RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
