You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
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I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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