yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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