I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
