I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
