brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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