And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize