he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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