new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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