New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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