Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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