She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
