tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
