Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
