i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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