I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
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I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
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I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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