Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
