Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
