I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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