When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
