In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
