I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
