eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
