that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
