You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
