We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
