I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
