Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
