maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
