Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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